Compassion Focussed Therapy | CFT
Many of us believe that we can only make a change in our lives through being hard on ourselves about our issues but this is entirely untrue. In reality, being self-critical about our problems only fuels feelings of shame, anger, anxiety, depression and low confidence. Self-criticism only worsens our mental pain and anguish because it breaks down our sense of resilience, promotes an abusive relationship with ourselves and prompts us to look to others for approval. CFT helps us to make changes in our lives by developing a compassionate mind towards our problems and ourselves. In doing so, we learn to understand where our problems come from, validate our own pain, take responsibility without blame and make changes.
“Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion. Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world. Compassion allows us to bear witness to that suffering, whether it is in ourselves or others, without fear; it allows us to name injustice without hesitation, and to act strongly, with all the skill at our disposal. To develop this mind state of compassion is to learn to live, as the Buddha put it, with sympathy for all living beings, without exception.”
“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer. Along with our ability to feel our own pain go our best hopes for healing, dignity and love. What seems non-adapative and self-harming in the present was, at some point in our lives, an adaptation to help us endure what we then had to go through. If people are addicted to self-soothing behaviours, it’s only because in their formative years they did not receive the soothing they needed. Such understanding helps delete toxic self-judgment on the past and supports responsibility for the now. Hence the need for compassionate self-inquiry.”
Please contact us for more information or to schedule a consultation.
Phone. 07944 112333